Ardipithecus… Ramidus?

After the release of the commercial failure Fireball, the Whip My Hair-star seemed to have disappeared from the music scene, other than the few releases on her soundcloud here and there.

Then she dropped Ardipithecus.

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Before we start, please give me the liberty to do my usual ranting.

Do you guys have any idea how awful it is to review a certain singer’s old materials and re-listen to them for your blog? I HONESTLY FELT LIKE MY EARS WERE RUPTURED AFTER RE-LISTENING TO “FIREBALL”!! I forgot how the song sounded but remembered clearly that I was very repulsed to the song and now I do…

Hearing her YELL “I’m the fireball of the party, I’m the- I’m the fireball of the party” B*TCH YOU AIN’T NO ONE’S FIREBALL IN ANY PARTY YOU’RE ONLY 11 WTH!!! Jesus christ that was the most painful thing I had to re-live!!

TL,DR; DON’T LISTEN TO FIREBALL. JUST. DONT.!!!

Moving on…

Willow Smith, the daughter of celebrity couple Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith did a Beyonce on her latest album. To explain the odd name choice for her album, here is what she’s said:

Ardipithecus Radmidus is the scientific name of the first hominid bones found on earth. I wanted to name my musical compilation after it because, while I was making these songs I was in such a transitional state. Digging deep in the soil of my heart and finding bits and pieces of my ancient self that tell stories, which end up being the lyrics to the songs. Ardipithecus is my first album in my entire career and it makes me feel so blessed to be able to share my evolution with the LightEaters as I continue excavating my inner worlds…”

Ok. “‘Deep’ album cover” – check. “Dodgy-territory explanation nearing pretentiousnes”? Check. (Btw what’s a “LightEater”? >_>) So, 2/2 of the checklist done. Now you get a sudden ominous feeling while trying to approach the album. Will it be as nonsensical and egoistic as her brother’s tweets? Who knows!

But I want to start this with a positive note, so I’ll share two of my favourite songs in the album:

Willow Smith – Stars ft Jabs

Easily one of my favourite in the album. Is that a Yoko Ono scream I hear?

Willow Smith – Wait a Minute!

Wait a minute!
I think I left my conscience on your front doorstep!
Run my hands through your hair,

You wanna run your fingers through mine,
But my dreads too thick and that’s alright

You left your diary at my house
And I read those pages, you really loved me, baby
But I broke my word, and you were bound to see
And I cried at the curb,
When you first said, “Oel ngati kameie*”

 *She uses the language “Na’vi” used in the film Avatar. She’s used the language several times on her other songs as well.

One of her catchiest song in the album, with semi-decent lyrics to boot. (…at least more mature than what the 15-yr-olds nowadays can produce!!)

Ok, now that we’re done with the “good”… what *exactly* IS the bad?

While Willow is the only sole credited songwriter and producer of the entire album (no small feat I should mention), her egotistic behaviour and her “I’m-so-deep-I’ve-figured-the-meaning-of-life”-esque attitude/lyrics are a complete turn off, especially if you act like that in the entire album… but fail to deliver (while, Kanye, on the hand, does, so I guess he gets to keep his bragging rights huh.)

Let’s have a look at the song below.

Willow Smith – Organisation and Classification

Classification and organization is ruining the minds of our generation
…I said it

Ok, so saying the first line isn’t apparently enough for her… she just HAD to say “I said it” as if she’s the first to have “realized” such thing and to re-emphasize how “oh-so-thoughtful” and “oh-so-deep” it sounded??? What???

Other than the cheesy lyrics, there’s the technical aspects as well. Her yelling and screeching on some of the songs are like nails-on-a-blackboard – absolutely cringeworthy. It’s also very evident that she doesn’t have full control of her voice too (ok, she’s 15, so I understand her voice isn’t fully developed yet, alright.)

While the album has a HELL lot of potential, sadly some of them are filled with fillers, plus with the excessive use of Na’vi, the album ultimately comes off as being pretentious with a serious need of polishing.

Some honourable mentions:

Willow Smith – Waves of Nature

Willow Smith – UR Town

The bass/guitar reminds me somehow of this RPG game I’ve played before. Twas a fun game with a nice selection of music as well.

Willow Smith – Cycles

The guitar sounds a LOT like from one of the music from the aforementioned game above. If my turd of a Windows 8 desktop computer was working, I would have linked the song. Ugh. 😤😤😤

Willow Smith – Marceline

Willow Smith – Marceline PT. 2

Why does this give me such a sci-fi feel?

So, my verdict?

Hmm… “nice try”. 🙂

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3 thoughts on “Ardipithecus… Ramidus?

  1. Aw, your review cracked me up! LOL Ms Applesauce. 🙂 I had not heard her songs before… or maybe I heard a couple when she was like 11… but anyhow I think most of these do the blackboard fingernail scratching… cringe inducing reflex. Ug willow!

    But she’s a Scientologist… so that’s probably where her pretentious know it all lyrics are sourced from. That’s a nutty bastard-religion (no offense) and then pair that with the fact she’s an out of touch wealthy hollywood kid with work-aholic- narcissistic parents who have an open relationship (meaning Will sleeps around and Jada has to be cool with it) making for no actual connection to real life for his daughter… or son. It’s all being given to Willow in terms of money and what she wants to pursue will always be backed but I feel sorry for her at age 15 carrying the burden of that kind of self absorbed and selfish existence. You’re right about the ego, but it’s her parents monster. She’s just a kid.

    Thanks for posting what I would not know about otherwise once again and for making me laugh!!! I love how you don’t hold back and just write your candid reviews. 🙂

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    1. I’ve heard her parents are Scientologists but I’m not sure if she herself is. I still can’t wrap my head around what Jada said to Will, that it’s “okay” to be in an open relationship if it “makes him sleep at night”. I have a polyamorous friend and, yeah, I do admit I don’t really see eye-to-eye with it even if all party is “consensual” , but the fact that there are KIDS involved in the marriage will definitely “skewer” the minds of them. Even if Jada IS okay about it, there’s bound to be a negative effect on the mind of their kids. So, yeah, I agree it’s the parents’ fault, not her.

      I didn’t want to be too negative about Willow since she IS just a kid haha but I really can’t resist poking fun of her songs. xP Thanks for stopping bye! 😀

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      1. Well she was born into scientology and it’s a religion that doesn’t allow women or girls the same choices as men. So the effect on Willow is akin to child abuse, ultimately, and her songs reflect that detachment and the neglect of her emotional well being as her father raises her to witness how her mother is not of real value to him. He’s teaching his daughter women are for sex and to support their men. Her music is something easy for him to set her up on being he’s the actual “rapper” musician. Her lack of skill can be smoothed over with effects, but you can tell she’s just messing around. It’s not at all pro. Fun for any kid to actually cut a record, but she’s not phenomenal. The business empire “success” and acceptance or tolerance of Will’s selfishness, is unfortunate for Willow most of all. Willow would have to come of age in order to leave the church and at that point the church would ask her parents to disown her if they failed to reprogram her.

        Not to be slaying her or pitying her. She’s a beautiful girl with plenty of potential. Thanks for allowing me to comment like a stern over protective social worker. 🙂

        I’m not against people having their open relationships btw and it’s certainly none of my business, but I really think this loose behavior should happen (with condoms) and BEFORE settling down into a marriage with kids.

        Okie dokie then, have fun blogging and grooving to the songs!

        Like

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